OLD MAN

Old man awake and confused
the dreams on the tip of my tongue disintergrate
with the proud erections of a youth once proud
bearded mouth gulping down week old
stale water from stolen Stella glasses
followed by the disorientating stumble to vertical
that dizzy dance to expel dehydrated orange fire
clinging to the banisters coz I’m knackered
clinging to the banisters
old knees need a while to function properly
with the youthful swagger one insists upon them
old knees need a while, Just saying

AND YOU CALL THIS NORMAL

I don’t know myself anymore
what would I do next, I would’ve known then
but now I’m not too sure
woke up to this reality
rapid eye movement why can’t you see I get no sleep
insomnia in my dreams and you call this normal
insomnia in my dreams
wake up with a cigarette already smoked
just in time to put it out
just in time to get dressed
just in time to catch the bus
just in time to get to work, just in time just in time
so this is what you do when you ain’t partying
if I was stupid I know what I would be doing
abstinence or death so black and white
and you call this normal
I’m just wondering what I can do tonight

AWFUL JEANS

Ba ba ba…..
they were awful jeans, I’d roll my eyes when approached in the street
I have to say they were quite frankly embarrassing but now
you’ve gone too far with your awful jeans
get away from me, bringing shame upon your family
awful jeans get away from me, bringing shame up on your family
ba ba ba…
this isn’t 1943 there’s no places on god’s earth for those monstrosities
the kiddies in sweatshops from Primark and Top Shop
just so you can wear those awful jeans
you’re in denial…. denial of your awful jeans!

OWEN MEANY

Meany, a prayer for Owen Meany…
it’s an unspeakable outrage….
Meany, a prayer for Owen Meany…

MODEL ON THE NORTHERN LINE

Does the world desire you so my dear? Bambi lashes? We the normal
we the just ok, whose eyes are drawn to that perfect alien
graceful in tatters, holding the carriages attention
I think only in diamonds… behind those eyes
with that nonchalant look of ‘you are nothing’
you mean nothing to me, I have the company of princes and nightclub owners
who eyes are drawn to that perfect alien
graceful in tatters, holding the room’s attention
I think only in diamonds…

OLD TRAINS

I way prefer the old trains
where you could open the doors whenever
watch em swing bang pulling in Victoria
fuck in the toilet, head out of the window
through the bars, into the path
oncoming train, the only way to stay awake
nose so close to that thundering blur
what if someone like me were to open the door
oncoming train, drunk coming home
nose so close to that thundering blur
what if someone like me were to open the door
in the guards compartment drinking my Stella
peach from the pencil necks, fresh from the
smokey buffet car of the London to Brighton
the old first class that I would pull apart
bulbs out of the window, for a laugh
I way prefer the old trains…

BIN HIM

Bin him before you end up in a bin, in a bin
oh god he’s gonna hit me, oh god he’s gonna hit gonna hit me
like fuck are you gonna hit me
fuck are you gonna hit, gonna hit me … etc

JE MAPPELLE ALEX

Things were going so well, until you asked me, for guest list
and I said sorry, I don’t speak English.  Je mappelle Alex
do I look rich?  do I look rich?  and I would love to indulge your ego
but suddenly you appear dead to me, dead to me…

PALE MOONLIGHT

Moonlit nakedness, the sleeping owner unaware of my intentions
frustratingly cautious, the slow soft jerk, baited breath released
and pumping heart, hammers home my guilty secret
“Was that nice angel” she asks? Caught, smiling
“you could have fucked me you know!” 
I hold my hands up, she caught me in the pale moonlight
and I died a bit inside

she caught me

ODE TO SUMMER

Today I woke up to a ‘what the fuck?’, not that time, not that time
the dark room, wife slumbering sound beside
god give me one more  hour coz it was blue skies last week
it has begun, the dark days, that unnatural time that us
zombies rise and to say goodbye to you
day after day after glorious day and to think that we started to take you for granted
day after day after glorious day and to think that we took you for granted makes
the sudden change to Autumn feel horrifying coz we expected nothing and you gave us
day after day after …

So thank you, for making our cities feel beautiful, for making our countryside beautiful, so beautiful
So thank you, for making our cities feel beautiful, for making our countryside beautiful, so beautiful
so thank you

HOT DAY YOU KNOW IT

Hot day you know it, the escalator traffic seems to indicate towards
the hot day I am having, all those cheeky glances young and old as
I stand there poised and sharp, returning the eye smoulders
legs slightly apart, groin forward, teasing sweaty Betty with
dreams of afternoon depravity in a London hotel room bed

SILLY VOICES

We speak in silly voices, happy together
we may not touch as much, as much as we used to
but we just work there ain’t no drama, life ain’t a fairy tale but there’s no palava
coz you’re my bird and I’m your geezer
you’re my bird and I’m your geezer
you’re my bird and I’m your geezer
how a row, make up with pizza
fiorentina for the wife, mushroom, pepperoni and chilli is nice
cause you’re my bird and I’m your geezer
in bed watching the Netflix, watching the bake off,
holding the world at bay
I like my humour gentle, coz the world is mental…

I TOLD YOU SO

So now you’re ashamed of the stars on your skin
those tribal bands, those god awful sins
do you find yourself rolling back down your sleeves
it appears that your arms are covered in cheese
I didn’t like to say I told you so, but, I told you so…

WE ARE THE ENGLAND

We are the England, we’re sick pale thugs with wonky teeth
tracksuit clad venomous mugs, that’s right, we live on an island
United Kingdom, so this is England, down the pub, thick as shit
cups of tea, cups of tea, they say the rancid bite of an Englishman
contains more cholera and dysentery than a third world river
propaganda for breakfast and dinner in the Standard and the Metro
propaganda in the papers and on the TV .. “but it’s free though”
propaganda for breakfast and dinner, a united kingdom? Bollox
we are the England, got no industry, we sold the lot
swapped apprenticeships for the Poundshop, fantastic bargains
cheap Toblerone, propaganda for breakfast and dinner in the
Standard and the Metro, force feeding hatred down our throats
“but it’s free though“, propaganda for breakfast and dinner…

We are the England!